36. Hometown Anomaly

I mean:

name me one other major city in America
whose river is main entirely from concrete.

31. Adler's Early Tour Anecdotes

I remember screwing a girl who looked a lot like Billy Idol
but I don’t remember anything else except maybe her crying.

24. Leather Pants

Duff had these pants
brown leather
epaulettes on
the hips
double-sewn
hand-stitched
lace-tied on
the gusset.

Said he found them
in a
garbage can.

Man
I wanted those pants
wanted them real bad
coveted those pants
until they turned green
beneath my envious gaze.

Then one day
the fucker gave
them away
to Slash
without him
even asking.

I could have
bitch-slapped
that drunk fool
there and then
knowing what
he knew
and doing what
he did and
considering
the repercussions.

Two weeks later
Slash caught a dose
of crabs from
those brown
leather pants
and even I had to laugh
like a hyena
like dirty water
down a storm drain

I recorded that laugh
sampled it
looped it
created a
symphony of hate
avarice envy
and revenge.

I’m saving it
for the box-set.