Wednesday, 1 October 2008

82. Axl Calls Up The Guy From Kerrang! At Midnight And Rants About Something That No-One Cares About

“I can’t believe this shit I just read in Kerrang!

“‘The interviewer asks Vince Neil about him throwing
a punch at Izzy backstage at the MTV awards last year,
and Vince replies ‘I just punched that dick and broke
his fucking nose! Anybody who beats up on a woman
deserves to get the shit kicked out of them.
Izzy hit my wife, a year before I hit him.’

Well, that’s just a crock of shit. Izzy never touched
that chick! If anybody tried to hit on anything, it was
her trying to hit on Izzy when Vince wasn’t around.
Only Izzy didn’t buy it. So that’s what that’s all about....

But this bit, man, where Vince says our manager, Alan Niven,
wasn’t around, and that afterwards he walked straight
past Izzy and me and we didn’t do a thing, that’s such
a lot of bullshit, I can’t believe that asshole said
those things in private, let alone to the fucking pres

The whole story is, Vince Neil took a pot-shot at Izzy
as he was walkin’ off stage at the MTV awards,
after jammin’ with Tom Petty, because Vince’s wife
has got a bug up her ass about Izzy. Izzy doesn’t
know what’s going on, Izzy doesn’t fuckin’ care.
But anyway, Izzy’s just walked off stage.
He’s momentarily blinded, as always happens
when you come off stage, by coming from the stark
stage-lights straight into total darkness side-stage.

Suddenly Vince pops up out of nowhere and
lays one on Izzy. Tom Petty’s security people
jump on him and ask Alan Niven, our manager,
who had his arm around Izzy’s shoulders when
Vince bopped him, asks if he wants to press charges.
He asks Izzy and Izzy says : ‘Naw, it was only
like bein’ hit by a girl!’ and they let him go.

Meantime, I don’t know nuthin’.
I’m walking way up ahead of everybody else,
and the next thing I know Vince Neil
comes flying past me like his ass is on fire or something.
All I saw was a blur of cheekbones!
I tell ya, man, it makes my blood boil when I read him
saying all that shit about how he kicked Izzy’s ass.
Turn the fuckin’ tape recorder on. I wanna set the record straight.

I mean, when Vince did that, we were advised
we could sue his ass off if we’d wanted to.
But we said no, fuck it, who needs the grief?
The guy’s a jerk. Fuck the courts, the guy needs a good ass-whippin’.

And now I read this - we get Kerrang! a little late here in LA -
and I tell ya, he’s gonna get a good ass-whippin’,
and I’m the boy to give it to him. It’s like, whenever you
wanna do it, man, let’s just do it. I wanna see that plastic
face of his cave in when I hit him.

There’s only one way out for that fucker now and that’s
if he apologises in public, to the press, to Kerrang!
and its readers, and admits he was lyin’ when he said
those things in that interview. Personally, I don’t think
he has the balls. But that’s the gauntlet, and I’m throwing
it down. Hey, Vince, whichever way you wanna go, man :
guns, knives, or fists, whatever you wanna do.
I don’t care. Turn on the machine...”

(With thanks to ‘Stick To Your Guns’ by Mick Wall Kerrang!, 21 and 28 April 1990)

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