125. Pulling Teeth

Getting Izzy to do anything was like
pulling teeth.

When he showed up he’d decide to play
in another key;

we’d say “Play it again” and he’d say
“Why?”

He just wasn’t raising his game
enough for me.

He’d become this really selfish user,
a loser.

He was strung out and not exactly easy
with fame.

It was real, real shitty when he left.
My oldest friend

trying to turn my brothers against me
with a power-play.

The lies the guy came out with just aren’t
worth repeating.

He tried to divide and conquer but it
all backfired.

Suffice to say the band knew who really
holds the power.

And Homeboy found himself left out
in the cold.

The day he drove over to tell me he
was quitting

I wouldn’t even let him in my house.
I just knew.

Friends don’t do that. Friends don’t shit
on friends.

And that was that, Izzy was out. Because
no man

is bigger than this band, not even me.
Yeah. It sucked.

But what can you do? Cry over splilled milk?
Nah. We soldiered on.

So, another warrior fell but the world war
continued.

Guns N Roses lived to fight
another day.

68. Snakes. Snakes Everywhere.

Things definitely got out of control for a while.
Overnight wealth can do that if you’re an idiot.

One time I was so whacked on amazing blow I
thought I could see snakes crawling up my wall,

dozens of them, freaking me out so much I had
to go hide in the closet and do some China White

to bring me down. Finally after a couple of hours
I started to cool out enough to peek through the

slats in the closet door. Fuck! They were still there.
Wired, I called one of my drug buddies, String-Vest.

“String-Vest,” I said. “There’s fucking snakes all
over the place and I’m freaking out here buddy.”

“That’s because you own dozens of fucking snakes
dude. They’re real. You’re not tripping. Be cool.”

And the crazy thing was, String-Vest, who happens
to be an even bigger drug fiend than me, was right:

there were snakes all over the place, but they were
my pets and I fucking loved those little fuckers.

All’s that happened was I had had some sort of
blackout. Forgot who I was. Forgot where I lived.

Forgot that I owned a tonne of serpents, forgot I was
famous for it, a regular Hollywood Doolittle, y’know?

The funny thing was, I called String-Vest up the
next three nights saying the exact same thing until

finally he came over and helped me finish off the
mountain of blow, if only to shut me up about those

goddamn snakes. But, y’know, it was the late 80s
Drugs and snakes were just part of it all, y’know?

45. Album Release Party Guest List.

G n' F n' R / July 21 1987

Traci Lords + 1
Robert Downey Jr + 1
Alan Niven +1
Bob Rock + 1
Charlie Sheen + 1
Ron Jeremy + 1
Eddie Van Halen + 1
Kelly LeBrock + 1
Phil Spector + 1
Judd Nelson + 1
Kenny G + 1
Hugh Hefner +12
Slash’s Mom + 1
Axl’s shrink
Adler’s dealer
Izzy’ dealer
String Vest + 1
David Geffen
Roy Thomas Baker
A&R Geffen +1
A&R Universal +1
A&R Sony +1
Tom Zutaut +2
MadDawg
40 Oz
Robert Williams + 1
Ben Fong-Torres +1
Ian Astbury
Billy Duffy
Cynthia Plaster Caster
Pat Smear
Taime Downe
Ole Beich + 1
Steven Tyler + 2
Tony Danza
Ted Nugent
Annie Sprinkle
Larry Mullen Jr +1
John Cougar Mellencamp
Michael Monroe +1
Ebony +1
Malcolm-Jamal Warner
Seb Bach + 2
Jeff Koons
Amber Sunrise +1
Robin Zander
Al Jourgensen
Beastie Boys x 3
Rik Ocasek
Corey Feldman
Michael Azerrad +1
Pamela des Barres
Downtown Julie Brown
Kevin Seal

Note from management:

under no circumstance
should Vince Neil
of Motley Crue
(plus entourage)
be allowed entrance.